You're Not Trans*
I came out as non-binary for the first time to a few close friends of mine about a week ago. I was in a state of weird ecstasy for a week. Something was unleashed that I never thought was possible.
But then Thanksgiving happened. I was already out to my family as “bisexual,” and the only person I had any issues with regarding my identity was my mother. She would constantly be hinting that my identity was something that would pass and eventually I would come out as straight. Her daughter would become a good little Christian girl and would settle down with a good straight-laced Christian man.
“Are you seeing any men right now?”
“Well, Mom, I’m not dating any men or women right now?”
She ignores the question. I make a quiet joke to my sister about my general disdain of men and we both start laughing.
My mother asks me what we were laughing about.
Out of nowhere with my family surrounding me at the entrance of my childhood house my mom says to me, “You better not be trans.”
There was a pause.
“Because I couldn’t handle that.”
I can’t breathe. My need to be honest combats my need for basic safety.
Not only do I have to explain that her perfect little daughter may not just be in denial about her orientation, but also that her perfect little daughter may not actually be her “daughter.”
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